The neverending nightmare

Ever since Wally West had acquired his super powers his parents had made sure to enjoy as many non-meta activities with him as possible. Perhaps this was why Barry Allen was surprised when Rudy West asked him to teach Kid Flash how to drive. But, if his nephew and sidekick- erm partner- needed his help, who was he to refuse?"

The second the teen's foot hit the accelerator, however, the Flash knew he had been given a raw deal.


1) Slippery when wet:
"Wally, No! When the road is wet, slow down around corners"
"Oh relax, the tires are built to griiiiiiip!...Uncle Barry."
"Yes Wally."
"I think I'm dead."
"Me too Kid."

2) Soft Shoulder:
"Wally, when a sign says 'Soft Shoulder' it means the side of the road is crumbly."
"Yeah, so?"
"Get your head of my shoulder and look at the road."
"But it's so soft..."
"Wally, DITCH!"

3) No right turn:
"Wally, no right turn means you can't turn that way!"
"It doesn't matter, we're fine."
"The people in the cars behind us aren't!"
"That's their fault. They should learn how to drive..."Why are you hitting your head against the dashboard? Should I do it too?"

4) One way.
"Wally you're going the wrong way."
"No, Pizza hut is right down there."
"Wally it's a One way street, what are you doing?"
"Sticking it to the man!"
5) Dead end:
"Why do they call them dead ends Uncle?"
"Wally turn around."
"I mean, a road isn't alive, so it can't be dead."
"Wally. TURN AROUND!"
"Is it because a lot of dead people are there?"
"STOP!"
"OKAY! Geesh, no need to shout..."Wooh, look at those skid marks!"

6) Slow
"Wally, it's a slow sign, don't speed up!"
"Fine, but why? Robin said you should always speed up at stop signs."
"Oh, really? Batman shall hear of this."
"But he already did. The Bats was right there when he said it, he even agreed!"
"Woah, Barry, did not know you could growl like that."

7) Bridge.
"Now Wally this bridge is one lane, and he was here first so stop. Stop. NO STOP, DON'T SPEED UP! Why did you do that?"
"I didn't like him, his eyes were too close together."

8) Men at Work:
"Men at work? Psh, cool story sign. I bet I work harder than them. Ya know why? Cause I'm Kid Flash!"
Ah well, thought Barry Allen, at least he wasn't running them over...
"No Wally, away from the people. Swerve away!"

9) No U-turns:
"Why does it say no boomerangs?"
"Captain Boomerang? Where?"
"No, there's a sign with a boomerang with a cross through it."
"That means no U-turns."
"Nope, it was a boomerang, let me just do a U-turn to show you."
"Wally, no!"
"Geese the people here really like their horns, don't they?"

10) Yield for pedestrians:
"Yield? I am Kid Flash, I yield for no man! Muahahahaha!"

11) Duck crossing:
"Uncle Barry?"
"Y-yes Wally?"
"How do they know where the ducks want to cross?"
"Wally, duck."
"No you idiot, on the road. Look where you're going!"
"But you told me to duck."
12) Wrong way:
"Wrong way? How the hell do they know where we're going?"
"Wally, oncoming traffic."
"Oooooooh."


13) Obstacles:
"PEDESTRIAN! TREE! SQUIRREL!"
"Okay, okay. Don't get your knickers in a twist."
"TRAIN!"

14) Brake:
"Uncle when was the last time you got a tune up?"
"Last year, why?"
"Well there's a turn coming up and the brakes aren't working."
"Abandon ship!"
"It's a car, by the way, not a ship."
"Just jump!"

15) Brake Fluid:
"Is making me replace the brake fluid with a pipette your idea of a punishment?"

16) Turning:
"Right turn here wally. Right. RIGHT! THE OTHER RIGHT!"

17) Hand brake:
"Wally, turn the hand brake off so we stop stalling."
"It is off."
"Then switch gears."
"We're not stalling, I'm just testing the brake."

18) Ice cream van.
"Ice Cream! Uncle, ice cream. Aww damn it, we won't be able to make it in time."
"It's okay, Kid, just swerve across the schoolyard here."

19) Police:
"I think the police are hailing us, should I pull over?"
"Floor it Wally! The last thing I need is a month without se- I mean a month sleeping on the couch."

20) Ditch ahead:
"It's okay Uncle Barry, I can call Superboy. He'll get the car out in a jiffy."
"Please, call an ambulance. I'm begging you, just make it stop."
"Um, Uncle? Are you crying?"
High above the Justice League was giggling incessantly, with the exception of Batman . Revenge was almost as sweet as Wonder Woman's birthday cake The Flash had eaten in its entirety should have been.

Postscript: No ducks were harmed in the making of this fic.